Delightful Dating- Part One
What, where, when and how?

Delightful Dating – Part One

In the first part of this article, we take a look at the different types of dating and some of the places that are always a winner to go.


Date:    A way of getting to know another person by spending time with them on a planned outing or activity.  Single people date singles; married people date their mates; married people date others and get into more trouble than it is worth.


More Than One Type of Date... 

A date is not necessarily just a date.  Our motivations for going out with someone can differ from situation to situation.  Gender also plays an important part due to the fact that men and women are not motivated in exactly the same way. 

Following is a brief description of various types of dates.  Once you have looked them over, you will note that we have expanded upon them further down the page.  Enjoy! 

Blind Dates:  This term refers to a date set up by a mutual friend(s).  Unless some serious matchmaking is involved, it is generally understood that nothing serious is expected to happen as a result.  Of all the types of dates, this is the one where both parties have the least information about each other, if any. 

First Dates:  Now that you’ve met someone and have scheduled your first date together, what will you do and where will you go?  Check out our helpful ideas below. 

Fun Dates:  Be careful here.  The definition of this type of date varies widely between men and women.  Women think of fun dates as an evening of letting one’s hair down, laughing a lot, dancing the night away, or doing something totally unique to their experience like white water rafting.  Conversely, guys think of fun dates as all of the above with the biggest “fun” happening somewhere at the end of the date.  They can’t help it.  They’re predators.  God made them that way. 

Internet Dates:  This new form of dating is revolutionizing the way people meet, fall in love, and begin permanent relationships.  Once two people connect on the net, an actual face-to-face meeting may not be too far behind.  Be sure to read the “Seven Rules for Offline Meetings” below as well as some helpful thoughts. 

Serious Dates:  There comes a point in every person’s life (sometimes, more than once) when the decision is made to move from the single position to having a permanent primary relationship.  This is the person who doesn’t do second dates if the first one didn’t result in a switch being turned on. 

Third Dates:  Every female knows what this date is all about.  Our current cultural trend is for guys to strongly indicate their desire for sexual intimacy by the third date.  Keep in mind that, although women expect men to make this request, they are not always willing to comply. 

Un-Dates:  This has to do with how you get out of a date or confront someone you’ve been dating with the news that you would rather not see them anymore.


Going In With Both Eyes Closed—The Blind Date... 

The key word here is “non-commitment.” When accepting this kind of a date (to either appease a match-making friend or satisfy one’s curiosity about another person you’ve not yet actually met), be sure that you go into it committed to not committing to anything.  Treat it as a singular event to have some fun and have a nice time with another person.  Barring the possibility that your date will turn out to be the “date from hell,” you can enjoy sharing both mutual interests and things not in common with each other even if it seems obvious from the beginning that there is no real attraction.


Furthermore, do not (DO NOT) try to get the other person to commit to a second date until after the first date has had a chance to sink in for at least twenty-four hours.  It not only puts the other person on the spot if they are not interested in pursuing a relationship with you, but will also save you the embarrassment of being told on the spot that there is really no interest on the other your person’s part.  If a second date is something both of you would be interested in, save that for a phone conversation or an e-mail message a few days later.  That way, you can go into it with both of you feeling good about it and, this time, with both eyes open.


It’s A Date!--The First Date... 

Here are some unique first date ideas that will keep you out of the “dinner and a movie rut” and set your first date apart from the rest: 


A Picnic In The Park:  Eliminate the pressure of a Saturday night date by enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of a public park on a Sunday afternoon. Pack a basket of “finger foods” like cheese, fruit, crackers and chocolates and a chilled bottle of sparkling cider (alcoholic beverages are illegal in most city and state parks).  For that extra special touch include china plates, crystal glasses and cloth napkins. In fact, some shopping mall stores carry both basket and backpack outfits equipped with these items.  The two of you can search out the perfect spot beneath a shade tree to enjoy your picnic, do some people watching, and get to know each other. 

Root For The Home Team:  Sporting events are a great place to have a great time and provide a fun and relaxed atmosphere for a first date. No matter what the season, there’s always something going on in the world of sports and if the cost of tickets to a professional game isn’t in your budget, high school, college and minor league games are just as much fun. 

Window Shopping:  You can stroll for hours in a shopping mall or a city’s shopping district while stopping here and there for a cup of coffee or an ice cream cone. And if you get tired of just looking in the windows, there’s always browsing through the racks at a music store, trying on hats and wasting a few quarters in a video arcade. 

Be Tourists For A Day:  Most of us live near attractions that people travel miles to see and we’ve never taken the time to visit them ourselves. Historical monuments, zoos, amusement parks, and state parks are just a few of the possibilities and great places to meet. These attractions offer plenty of things to talk about in case of a lull in the conversation and you can even pick up a souvenir of a memorable first date. 

Visit A Museum:  Art, Natural History, American History; pick a subject and the chances are that there’s a museum dedicated to it. If you and your date have a common interest (or both of you want to see something new), visit a museum together and enjoy the exhibits. Many museums also offer special shows, presentations and lectures that can provide a unique first date experience.


 Delightful Dating- Part Two
The second and final section of this interesting look at dating.

Delightful Dating – Part Two


Laughter, Love, or Lust—The Fun Date... 

If it is fun that you want, rest assured that anyone you date will be in complete agreement.  Beyond that, the challenge will be to come up with something that both of you would consider to actually be fun. 

Take time to explore some mutual interests and then plan something around one of them.  Also, the previous section on “First Dates” has some good ideas for fun times that are generic enough to be appreciated by both parties on a first time date.  However, once you have moved on to further dating, try to do things that you both enjoy.  After several dates, you can begin asking the other person to try some things out that would be new to them, although, very familiar to you.   If they are agreeable and not made to feel uncomfortable, the new experience might be one that brings the two of you closer together.  It could also serve as an indication that something you truly enjoy is not going to be anything that the two of you will be sharing together should a relationship develop. 

And finally, a warning to the guys.  Listen, men, not every woman wants sex on the first date; or the second date; or even the third date.  Forcing yourself on someone to have a little “fun” is not how we define a fun date.  If she is receptive to you, that is one thing; but if she does not respond, then back off.  If you feel that she is the one for you, be patient.  It may take longer, but you will be glad you waited and she will feel that much better about you.  The other option, should you decide to push yourself on her, means that you will be out looking again for someone to date.


Virtually Connected—The Internet Date... 

Okay, you’ve found someone online that you really like and they like you, too. You’d really like to meet him/her face-to-face.  Now what?  One of the best and worst things about singles meeting via the Internet is the return of old-fashioned first dates - with the added concern of personal safety when meeting a virtual stranger.  Picking a place to meet, an activity to share, things to talk about—it can seem a bit overwhelming; especially when you really want to make a good impression. 

The amazing thing about online relationships is that two people are able to get to know each other quite well (should they take the time to do so via e-mail and numerous online chats) before actually meeting.  They can even send each other photo snapshots via the net as well as any other information each is willing to share with the other.  The point is that, unlike traditional dating, it does not take several times out together to glean all of this information.  It has already been done online.  In fact, these types of first meetings have the feel of finally being able to spend some real time with a friend.  However, one must always be aware that there are those who are not truly genuine.  Of course, that can also happen just as often, if not more so, using the traditional approach.


Looking for Mr./Mrs. Right—The Serious Date... 

Some people date just for the fun of it.  Married people enjoy their date nights out together as well.  However, there are those who are seriously looking for that special someone.  No one should fault them.  In fact, their determination to find the right person to begin a permanent relationship with is the primary purpose of why we date in the first place. 

The thought here is that those who are serious daters should be very careful not to put the other person in the uncomfortable situation of being over-scrutinized.  Go easy and take your time.  If love is meant to be, it will happen naturally. 

Remember, too, that men fall in love easier than women.  They tend to look (the visual thing) before they leap (the sex thing).  Good, long-term relationships are built over an extended period of time.  It is one thing to find the right person; it is another thing to maintain a right relationship.


Great Expectations—The Third Date... 

Women know about it, talk about it, laugh about it, and sometimes vent about it with their lady friends after some guy has tried it on them once again.  Some men try it on the first date, but every gal knows that the third date is usually the charmer.  Of course, the ladies are not completely blameless on this count.  Some women are more than ready on the first date, whereas, others would really rather wait for a while until they are sure about the guy.  Again, one cannot force themselves on someone.  Men who have to persuade, cajole, and convince a woman to go to bed with them need to realize that if it doesn’t happen naturally, then it shouldn’t be happening at least not if you would like to go out on a fourth date.



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