|The Five Levels of Compatibility|
a powerful tool for choosing the right partner
by Christina Awram
How this Began: Someone asked me the other day, "If I want the ''right'' partner next time, what can I do differently than what I've done in the past?" I threw back my head and laughed. "Interview! Intensively!"
Looking rather intrigued, she asked, "What exactly do you mean by interview?"
"Well, first of all, it's important to know who you are. Once you know who you are, it's important to know what you want. And once you know what you want, then you need to ask a lot of questions to see if you've actually attracted it!"
Frown. "Like ... what sign are you, what car do you drive, that type of thing?"
Oh boy. "Have you heard of the 5 Levels of Compatibility?" I inquired.
"The 5 whatsis of whosis?"
The Quest: Well, this prompted me to start asking people if they knew about the 5 Levels. I got a lot of blank looks, a few mutters, some interesting propositions ... but most of all, I got a lot of curiosity and intrigue. And that's when I realized this information, at it's most basic level, needs to become more accessible.
When choosing a potential partner, or evaluating your existing partnership for that matter, here are five crucial areas to review. And when I say interview, I mean interview! This is not for the meek of heart. Make a date, get their undivided attention, and bring on your questions. Ask clearly. Look in their eyes. Probe. Follow up by phone and email. If this isn't a match, the sooner you know the better. And when you start a connection with someone this powerfully and openly, the sky's the limit in terms of where it can go.
Remember, there's no right or wrong answers. This isn't about judgment. How do the answers match in relation to you? How much in alignment are they with your type? Is this person a realistic match for you? Be honest ... the signals are usually there right from Day 1. And don't forget ... you should know your own answers to these questions before you start with anyone else!
How does this person's mind work? (logical, analytical, creative, etc)
How well do they listen and actually hear?
Do I enjoy listening to this person?
Do we laugh together?
Does this person let me finish my thoughts, or interrupt my sentences?
Does this person grasp ideas quickly?
Does this person show up or hide?
Does this person believe in keeping secrets or go for full disclosure?
Do I feel free to express myself with this person?
Does this person see the big picture or are they narrow focused?
Do they lead or follow?
The Intellect & Core Values
What makes this person tick?
What are their core values around family, health, sexuality, spirituality, lifestyle, etc?
What is this person's past relationship history?
How did their last relationship(s) end?
Are they friendly with, do battle with, or freeze out their ex?
What is their relationship like with their parents?
Does this person take responsibility or blame?
Does this person have courage? (feels the fear, but takes action anyway)
Does this person indicate willingness to/have a history of expanding their knowledge and personal growth? Will they attend a personal growth seminar and/or retreat?
Does this person have/want/like children?
Is this person a vegetarian, meat-eater, or something in between?
Does this person smoke?
Does this person drink, and how much?
Does this person indulge in recreational drugs?
Does this person take responsibility for their own feelings and reactions?
Does this person take action, or do they just "talk the walk"?
How do you energetically feel with this person?
Are they scattered and twitchy, or are they calm and grounded?
Does this person seem angry or peaceful?
Do they seem passionate or indifferent?
How comfortable is this person with eye contact?
What kind of work does this person do?
Are they excited about their career, or is it "just a job"?
Do they like to dance? And would they dance naked in the moonlight?
What Ayurvedic profile does this person have (Vata, Pitta, Kapha)?
The Physical Body
How does it feel to hug this person's body?
Do you like this person's smell?
Does this person take care of their physical body?
Do they exercise regularly? If so, what type? (e.g. yoga, walk, ski, hike, swim, golf, bowl, etc)
Are they clean-shaven or bearded?
Do you find this person physically attractive?
Does this person have a genuine smile?
If this person was food, would you eat them?
What size is this person? (Yes, I do mean that - an extra small and an extra large do NOT match!)
If spirituality is an important component to you, where exactly is this person on their spiritual path in relation to yours? Does it "feel" as well as sound compatible?
Does this person enjoy touching/being touched? Do they enjoy massage?
What is this person's perception of the connection between the soul and sexuality?
Does this person see sexuality as a pathway to connecting with the divine?
What does this person do to nurture their soul?
Is this person willing to be happy instead of right?
And the final question of all questions to ask: "The next time you enter a relationship, what would the purpose of the relationship be for you?" Listen carefully to the answer on this one - they usually mean it!
Contact the writer Christina Awram:
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